Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Mom said you looked used
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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