shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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