dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
