Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i will never coherently bang her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
as a side note pls kill me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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