At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize