Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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