It's like God shit irony all over that family
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
