I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
