How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
