I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
