ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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