Porn is love you can see.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
