Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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