So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
