I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
