super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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