just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
