So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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