I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize