I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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