Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
