Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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