chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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