how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
