Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
