She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
