that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
