It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
