i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize