even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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