would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
