it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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