I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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