Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
