Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
