that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
