dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
