party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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