I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
