there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
