remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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