I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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