i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
