every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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