Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize