Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
