You really coming over, don't trick.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
