what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
