Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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