Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
