I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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