yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
