I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
