i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
