Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were trust falling into bushes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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