awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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