I just threw up on my dentist
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love having hate sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
