He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
