i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
