dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
