8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
