; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
