I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
