Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
