hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize