soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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