Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
