Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
