Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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