Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
