So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
