I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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