Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize