Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
