She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
