What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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