I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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